Tag Archives: inclusion

Surviving Predators

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Trigger Warning
This post includes references to the of abuse of a child and to attempted suicide.

Without Hope
As an abused child, there were many days when I was without hope. Without hope that tomorrow would be better than today. Without hope that anyone could save me, as those who were meant to do so were the perpetrators of that abuse—the predators whose disease fed on my existence—my parents. Without hope that anyone could possibly understand what I was experiencing as my life was the opposite of what was depicted as the ideal American life on television shows designed to project an image of wholesome righteousness during the early nineteen sixties when millions of us ‘Boomers’ were glued to our TV sets.

Without hope that someone would or could come and rescue me, I did what many hopeless people do, I attempted to end my life. I experienced a cycle of suicide attempts multiple times that ended before I turned 18. A dear friend said to me years ago, “I am grateful that the one thing that you are really bad at is suicide!” Years of incredibly competent therapy and living a life surrounded by people who love and nurture me, have kept me on a path of healing.

The current state of our world is incredibly triggering for myself and my fellow survivors. We are re-experiencing a time when predators can feast on the rest of us without constraint. When perpetrators of horrendous crimes go unpunished and unchecked. When those charged with protecting us and the greater good of upholding the law and maintaining order have a record of telling lies, perpetrating abuse, discriminating against, and bullying others. When reality is the opposite of all that we worked for, dreamed of, and thought that we overcame.

It is not that I hold any delusion of living in a post-racist, equitable, inclusive society, I would not have as many clients as I do if this were so. I did, despite my history, think that we were progressing, evolving. Alas, I forgot how predators work. I have lived with many predators other than my parents – cats and dogs, mainly. Predators can wait a really, really long time for their prey to forget that they are lurking in the shadows to pounce. When predators are sated but bored they tend to play with their food. Cats will play with wounded prey for quite a while as a means of entertainment. Think of the thriving pet toy market.

This is the same way that bullies operate. They need their targets (or victims) to respond. To cry, complain, react in some way. Hence, the expression, “Liberal tears.” Sometimes, the best way to shut down a bully is to ignore them. Going back to the anecdote about predators, the best defense for members of species that are considered prey for other species is to play dead. There are countless examples of this, the most famous being the opossum, which plays dead involuntarily. If the predator is not truly hungry they will usually not exert the energy needed to try to find out if their prey is really dead already. In terms of bullies, if they are ignored, two things may occur: first, they may become bored by playing a two person game alone. Second, their ego may take a hit as the oxygen narcissists crave is attention. If one target does not provide it, they will usually move on to another. Think of the multiple forms of adrenaline rushes available to those hooked on it.

Never Enough
My husband goes fly fishing. He has shared a story of fishing for trout that many people who fly fish have experienced. When removing the hook from the mouth of a trout, he saw that there was not just another insect already in its mouth, but several more in its throat. So many insects that the fish could not possibly even swallow them. Why did the fish go after yet another fly when it was already full? Because the fish is not thinking about tomorrow. The fish is only thinking about getting as much food as possible right now. Similarly, there are those for whom there is never enough money, power, toys, or followers.

Survival in Numbers
Watching nature programs as children we learned that those who strayed from the herd, whether babies or elders, were easy pickings for the predators. We would watch between our fingers as the lion got the poor gazelle in its sites and would wait for just the right moment to spring and end its life. I would whisper into my hand “Stay with the herd! Stay together!” This was a tactic that I learned growing up on the sidewalks of the projects and in my apartment both. I was safer when I was with a group.

I have been watching people scatter and panic and give up without even trying to survive. Sometimes on those very same nature shows, a group of animals who are typically the prey would flip the script and take down a hyena or a tiger. I have seen groups of birds—from multiple species—come together and protect their community from a red tailed hawk so effectively that I would think that they had done a few strategic planning sessions. [This is an inside joke for my clients and colleagues.]

The Moral of the Story [Another reference to strategic planning.]
Hope, strategic hope, requires that we have a vision for tomorrow, of a brighter tomorrow. When I was in my darkest hour, I would visualize those who I loved, those who would be traumatized by my death, who would mourn my absence. Those visions have motivated me to stay around for decades and still give me hope for the future. I think of all of the young people who are currently enrolled in college or attending high school or junior high school or third grade. Then, I think of that question that interviewers will often ask famous people, “What would you tell eight year old Wendy, if you could?”

“Wendy, this is temporary and you will survive. It will require you to work really hard and to talk to others who you think are doing fine (they are not) and form a club. That club needs to be inclusive and diverse and every voice needs to be heard and no matter what the predators say or do, you have to stay together.”

What Does Together Mean?
Anyone who grapples with depression knows that the worst thing for us is isolation. We cannot do this alone. We should not do this alone. We will not do this alone.

For years in my workshops I have explained the difference between diversity and inclusion this way. Diversity is a fact. We, within our species, are diverse. We come in various shades and sizes, we speak many different languages, we eat a wide range of foods, and we have an extraordinary variety of affinities and identities which, when intersected make us who we are. Inclusion requires action, continual action. First, I must invite you to join me. Then, I must treat you with value, to listen to you and learn what you need and want. Finally, I must be willing to change how I do what I do.

Survival Tactics
Back to how triggering all of this power shifting is for most of us. Some recommendations for being mindful of others’ state of being:

Do not send people links without a description. I have had multiple friends send me links in the past few weeks without telling what the link is to. I will not open them. Not only am I tired of being bombarded by scammy texts and emails and the relentless requests for donations, I am too emotionally charged these days to click on a link and see a video of someone ranting about how bad things are, or to a bunch of statistics about how bad things are, or of an image depicting how bad things are. Also, please do not send cartoons, memes, or ‘witty’ quips about those about to take control. They are not funny.

Verify everything that you read. The volume of disinformation being spread by predators will continue to exponentially increase. We must diligently verify any ‘news’ that we take in to confirm that it is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Do not amplify the voices of those who are lying, gas lighting, or hate speaking. Part of how we got to this place is that those voices have been broadcast consistently and without filtering or question for years on corporate media.

Do not assume that others are alright. Ask. I have a long history of becoming quiet when I am not doing well emotionally. Those closest to me know this and check-in. They ask how I am and what I need or want. Sometimes, just their asking makes me feel better, connected, and loved.

Remember that you are not alone. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline connects you to trained crisis counselors 24/7. You can also call, text or chat 988 if you are worried about someone you care about who may need crisis support. Please remember that others need you and want you to be here.

One of the things that helped me to break out of my cycle of self-harm was helping others. When I was sixteen, I volunteered at a cancer ward for terminally ill children under thirteen. At that point, I was no longer subjected to the abuse that I endured for the majority of my childhood. I would bring my acoustic guitar and play songs like “Puff the Magic Dragon,” and “B-I-N-G-O,” to the delight of the kids who were in ward. Those children engaged in persistent joy and it was contagious! They made my heart sing. Connection with and supporting others was and is a lifeline for me.

An Invitation
I was a very imaginative child. My imagination saved me again and again. These days, I am picturing myself as a French Resistance fighter during World War II. I am wearing a black beret; I am smoking a Gauloises cigarette and cranking a ham radio. I am calling you. I hope that you can hear me and will respond, s’il vous plait.

I am cordially inviting you to join my club. Many of you are already members, but I think this is a great time to remind you how much I value you and all that you are and do to make our world a better place. I do not know what we should call this club. Perhaps, the club for people who practice resilient love, or the we have been through too much to give up now club. Whatever we call it, we need to come together and stay together and protect each other and our world.

Onward!

Wendy Amengual Wark
December 11, 2024

A photo of the New Jersey Palisades cliffs covered in fall foliage October 2024

This golden morning view gives me incredible hope and joy and makes my heart sing with love.

Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC

 

Gratitude

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Thanksgiving is historically challenging as it reminds us that those who get to tell their story have the opportunity to be heard, regardless of how accurate or honest that story is. I study history. I study people. Our collective story is messy, brutal, and fraught. However, it is also a story of persistence, resilience, and hope.

I acknowledge that we have both the opportunity and responsibility to tell an inclusive, diverse story and to share our gratitude for the journey that has brought us to this place at this time. You may not be feeling particularly grateful being right here, right now as this is the most challenging time that this nation has faced in contemporary history. This is exactly why it is important for us to feel, share and express our gratitude.

Strategic hope is something that you will be hearing me recommend a lot in the coming days, weeks, months, and years. It is something that you and I can do to resist oppression, hate, division, and fear. Think of one thing that you can do today that will make a difference in someone’s life. Donating to a shelter. Preparing a meal at a community center. Calling someone you have lost contact with and letting them know that you care. One thing—one act when strategically carried out can create hope. Make a strategic plan to guard and share your hope for our future.

Persistent joy is another key element of my plan. As a survivor of abuse and one who has lived with intense grief, joy has become a tangible part of my life. I am acutely aware of my need to be open to receiving and experiencing joy. The need to remain open to joy does not put me at risk of experiencing more pain. On the contrary, I persistently seek out joy through surrounding myself with people who make me happy, by doing things that are joyful (walking in nature, preparing a shared meal, dancing to my favorite music). Think about something that brings you joy. Whether it is something that you do all by yourself or with others, put it on your calendar and do it frequently!

Resilient love is my favorite! When I was widowed at 36 I never thought that I would marry again. A dear friend recently said that it is so obvious that Chris (my second husband), loves me deeply. She was glowing when she said it. If I had not been open to giving and receiving love after Gerard died, I could not have the love that I share in my second marriage.

All of these reflections bring me back to gratitude. I am so incredibly grateful for my family. By family I mean those members of my biological family with whom I have a relationship (which is only a portion of the full group) and my fictive kin. Those who I choose as members of my tribe: dear friends who I get to spend holidays with, whose children feel like the grandchildren I will never have, whose love and support and guidance is invaluable to me.

I am also deeply grateful to my colleagues and clients. I have the incredible honor to work with people who are committed to the mission that I have had for years: to make manifest the value of all people. Each of us does this in our own way, through our various fields and professions, but it is the common denominator of those who I choose to collaborate with.
Think about the people in your life who make it richer, who feed your curiosity, encourage your success, support your efforts, and empathize with your struggles. Think about our interdependence and how each of us can bring one dish to the table which is uniquely ours and makes the meal so delicious.

Autumn is winding down here in New York. The multitude of colors ranges from deep brown to pale yellow to brilliant red—I like to call it “Fruit Loops” – represent us. Our deep roots, the majority of our beings, are underground, unseen, while we stretch to show our best and most beautiful selves to each other.

You are beautiful to me. You are hope and joy and love and I am grateful for you.

Onward!

~ Wendy

November 27, 2024
Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC

 

The Art of Denial

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Am Not!

Picture two siblings, perhaps eight and six years old. The argument may be over a toy, or a game, or who sat on whom, or any other rival-based competition. It may go like this: “You’re a liar!” “Am not! You are!” We used to say, “I’m rubber, you’re glue, bounce off me and stick on you!”[1] In other words, the original perpetrator of the crime turns the truth around and accuses the accuser of whatever act they just committed.

Did Not

In the same theme of denial, the success of the act of denial is dependent upon the denier’s credibility, or when that is lacking, their ability to persuade whoever is listening, that they are telling the truth, while denying it. I have had many dozens of perpetrators of discriminatory conduct patently, intensely, convincingly deny their culpability. This was always a challenge, although there were several occasions when I actually had the ‘smoking gun’ (in the form of a video or audio recording, an email or other evidence) in my hand while the perpetrator and liar vehemently argued their innocence. This allowed us to proceed with appropriate disciplinary action against the violator of the law.

You May Not

Denial takes many other forms as well. Denying someone access by not providing ramps, ASL[2] translators or closed captioning; denying someone service because of their race or gender expression; denying someone’s right to justice and equity, denying someone else’s right to even exist, are all too common and have a wide-reaching destructive impact on our world.

You Are Not

My dear friend, Derrick Kikuchi, who has extensive experience advocating for peace and social justice responded to my last blog post, “Peace Talks” by reminding me that there are those who not only refuse to come to the table to reconcile differences, but deny others the rights and protections that they enjoy. Specifically, he cited the many times when fighting for marriage equality as a gay man, that people would literally walk out on the conversation and argue that his right to marry his incredible husband, Craig Wiesner, somehow infringed on their rights. That if Derrick and Craig won equal rights, those opposing that progress actually lost something as a result. I agree that peace talks are not possible if both parties are not willing to sit down together and talk and believe in the possibility of reconciliation. I agree that as long as an individual believes (has been convinced or brainwashed to believe) that our humanity – our very existence – costs them anything they will not be able to come to the table and participate in the process of reconciliation. I have had quite a few people storm away from the reconciliation table as a result of this during my career. This sounds so simple and yet is so complicated. How do we get people to sit down with us to work on reconciliation and living together in peace if they have been convinced that our humanity takes something from them?

Is Not

The 100 billion dollar question: What do we do with the segment of our society whose intractable beliefs are predicated upon others being less than them or not existing at all? That science and facts and history are hoaxes and experts and intellectuals are the enemy? The group that I reference above do not fit into the argument for both sides-ism. Hate in all of its disgusting guises has no place in that discussion.

There are many white, ‘straight’, ‘Christian’, ‘middle class’, individuals (sorry about all of the quotation marks, but all of those words need qualification) who struggle with BLM, Act Up, peaceful protests and other acts of constitutionally protected speech that have been the vehicle for progress and advancing equity and inclusion for centuries. That is because they are exposed, on an extraordinary basis, to disinformation and misinformation. They are emotionally exhausted by the onslaught of negative input. (As we all are.) This makes it easier to manipulate them, trigger them, and herd them into division and resentment.

I am encouraged by those who sit through mandatory DEIAB training silently and experience an awakening, a transformation when a spark is lit, a seed is planted and their empathy and understanding of the value of diversity takes root. Often, these participants in my sessions will contact me privately after the session ends to share their transformation and tell me what they are thinking and feeling. We will discuss how to get past the discomfort inherent in difficult conversations so that they can participate in self-growth, acceptance instead of denial. I am focused on those individuals, people who are not avowed haters of diversity—fascists and white supremacists—but who are being influenced by them.

Self-Denial

My father, a tri-racial Puerto Rican, embodied internalized racism in ways that impacted me profoundly, and still does decades later. His denial of his heritage was evidenced by his regular proclamations that his blood was pure Spanish, not mixed with African blood or Taíno (indigenous Caribbean) blood. The implication is that his European white ancestors were of more value than his African and Taíno ancestors. Many BIPOC individuals struggle with this legacy of race-based slavery and colonialism. Centuries of being told that white people are superior because they held the power. My father was taught to be ashamed of who he was and how he looked. He passed those lessons in self-denial on to his children.

Denial

Denial is one word. A word that we need to give careful consideration when we refer to ourselves as ‘good communicators’ or ‘people’ people. Who are we envisioning when we imagine how good we are at communicating? Who comes to mind when we think of the people we are comfortable with? What are we denying about our own barriers to inclusion? How might we address that denial? One word at a time.

Antidote to Denial

In my previous blog post, the word that I shared was peace. I endeavor to facilitate experiences where people can come together and engage in constructive conversations about painful and difficult subjects. The methodologies that I employ to help participants to have peace of mind while embarking on this process include anonymous surveys, focus groups, online anonymizing tools that help people to be fully heard without feeling at risk of judgment and the resultant guilt that may accompany it.

These methods create opportunities for individuals to face the facts that they have been taught to deny. One conversation, one word at a time.

Onward!

Wendy Amengual Wark
June 28, 2024
Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC

[1] We did not say “bounces off of me and sticks on you” even though that would have been grammatically correct.

[2] American Sign Language

 

Peace Talks

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Can We Talk?

            Once upon a time people could guess fairly accurately what another person’s political position was by their appearance. During certain periods throughout history it was also possible to determine one’s tribe based on their attire, hairstyle, and mode of transport. This was valuable information as knowing what to expect regarding interaction with others could save one’s life. Recognition enabled human beings to know whether or not they could discuss certain things with one another.

            For me, as a child of the 60s this information meant that I could discuss my position on the war in Vietnam, racism, sexism, poverty, and other subjects with those who I thought would agree with me based on how they looked. This technique helped me to avoid talking with people who I guessed would disagree with me on these and other issues.

What are the rules?

      When I entered the workforce there was an unspoken rule: never discuss politics or religion with your co-workers. You also never asked a co-worker what their salary was (sometimes learning what others were being paid was a bit traumatic, especially those who were being paid more than me, even though I supervised them, because they were married men with ‘families to support’). Some of those rules were established to keep the peace. To minimize employee conflict and to create a neutral environment where employees left the issues of the world at the door when they clocked in.

Optics

      I have spent thousands of  hours during the past three decades working to help people to become aware of our biases and how frequently we are wrong when we decide ‘who’ someone is based on optics. I have developed exercises and ice breakers intended to point this out without making people feel judged or threatened. I have had participants in my workshops insist that I had children, that I said that I have children, which I do not and did not, based on their perception that I should—according to optics—be a parent. In my case, I think that this misperception is also a result of my role as a facilitator, one in charge of a group of people providing guidance and support, which are parental competencies.

Polarization

     Polar opposites: pro-choice vs pro-life; pacifist vs hawk; Yankees vs Red Sox, etc. rarely believe that they have things that they can agree on. “They will never understand what we’ve been through!” “Why can’t they just get over it!” “Juneteenth isn’t a real holiday!” “All Americans should be educated about and celebrate Juneteenth National Independence Day.”

     One exercise that I developed years ago is “Us versus Them.” I ask participants to share who they perceive as ‘us’ and who they perceive as ‘them.’ We go through a few rounds of this before we reach the conclusion that there is no ‘them’ only ‘us.’ Once we get there, we can begin to have a conversation about shared interests, conceptions, and beliefs. Getting to the point of acknowledging our shared common denominators enables us to embark on a path of reconciliation.

     I consider this exercise to be the opposite of a “privilege walk[1]” exercise, as the focus is on our shared humanity not our differences. To be clear, I strongly value our diversity and also facilitate  exercises where we examine the distances we each have traveled and how our affinities and identities have impacted our journeys. These exercises are designed to work in tandem with each other to build relationships based on both our shared experiences and identities and our individual differences.

Reconciliation

     How can we reconcile our differences—of opinion, perspective, and experience—if we cannot talk with each other? When engaging in mediation my questions to the participants are:

  1. What do you want?
  2. What do you need?
  3. What do you expect?
  4. What does winning mean?
  5. What can you give the other person so that they can win?

      Mediation cannot succeed until and unless both sides can imagine the other side ‘winning’ without feeling as though they are losing.

       It was impossible to participate in managerial training in the 1990s without the expression ‘win-win’ being part of the conversation. This is because it is true. I cannot win unless you also win, unless I want you to win, until I want our success to be a shared experience—an inclusive experience.

Peace Talks

            Several people have said to me that based on the work that I do in organizations, I should try my hand at facilitating peace talks. Well, isn’t mediation a peace talk? Isn’t reconciliation a peace talk? Shouldn’t we come in peace when we hope to resolve our differences? Mitigating workplace conflict, especially when it is based on race, gender identity, religion, LGBTQ+ status, and other affinities, does require talking peace. Easing people’s anxiety. Helping people to navigate relationships which defy optics. Many people have shared with me that they are experiencing intense anxiety regarding their co-workers, especially in the past several years, as they do not know what side they are on, politically, socially. I hear frequently about the inability to trust one’s co-workers. Because people can no longer tell by looking at each other if they can be trusted.   

One Word at a Time

     I visualize building a bridge of words to cross the chasm of polarization, one word at a time. What words would you use to try to persuade someone who you believe is vehemently opposed to your world view to change their position? What if they were the last person on earth? What if your life depending on it? What if getting through to them would save the life of the person who you love more than any other living being? What if?

     When facilitating reconciling conversations, I ask participants to begin with one word. A word that means a great deal to them. That word might represent the barrier between them. That word might represent how important it is to get past the barrier that makes it impossible to collaborate fully, safely, inclusively. That word might be the hope for a new day, a new way of coming together and healing.

     For me, that word is peace.

     If the polarization of world events is seeping through the porous walls that enclose your organization and causing anxiety, let’s talk.

     Onward!

Wendy Amengual Wark

June 19, 2024

Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com
InclusionStrategy Solutions LLC

[1] Erica Sherover-Marcuse and Hugh Vasquez invented the Power Shuffle/Privilege Walk in the summer of 1984 at New Bridges. https://nonsite.org/the-first-privilege-walk/

 

How and Why DEIAB?

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How and Why DEIAB?

            The vast majority of the attacks on diversity, equity, inclusion, access, and belonging (DEIAB) initiatives and programs, use anecdotal examples of poorly executed workshops or other strategies to dissemble and discredit the entire field and its raison d’etre. This is an old (see ancient Greece) and frequently effective technique for destroying one’s political nemeses. The mountains of data that we haul out to prove the efficacy of competently implemented DEIAB initiatives is not going to be examined by those who are the intended audience of these smear campaigns, as they do not read the same periodicals, follow the same influencers, or travel in the same circles that DEIAB experts do, that is the point of these tactics—do not worry about being asked for the receipts—make the slanderous statement and wait for the spiral of mis and disinformation to do its work.

Why DEIAB?

            Before I embark on how to counter this onslaught, let’s examine why it matters. There have been many studies[1] during the past few decades that establish the following DEIAB benefits: diversity makes us better, better workers, thinkers, writers, people; equity not only affirms our commitment to a democratic society, but helps us to understand what the rules of engagement are which in turn, helps us to navigate our relationships and roles; inclusion, especially for so many humans who have historically been excluded as a result of bias, creates a safe, nurturing environment where we can bring and be our best selves—productive and innovative; access is necessary for all humans to fully participate via a ramp for wheelchairs or closed-captioning during a zoom meeting; and belonging, inspires us to want to be somewhere—be fully engaged and giving 100%.   

            Now, nothing that really matters is easy. Nothing that really makes a difference is ‘one and done.’ [think: diet and exercise – sorry!] For many years I have been telling potential clients that we do not do training—we provide interactive education on the cause and effect of DEIAB. For example, we might examine the history of sexism and its ongoing impact on society or the impact of racism and its perpetual institutionalization in organizations. Then, we can work on developing ways to counter these systemic problems.

How: Listen.

The reason that we conduct surveys, interviews and focus groups or listening sessions, as well as reviewing a clients’ policies, protocols, and various communications (including job descriptions and marketing materials), is that we need to know where to begin. Every organization has a unique culture and subcultures based on its mission, vision, goals, and strategies. If you listen, the members of your organization will tell you what matters to them, how they are being treated, and if they feel included. You do need to listen on a regular basis, so that you can notice shifts, hints, and indicators of problems before they escalate. That means conducting assessments at least on a biennial basis.

How: Discern.

            Once you have this very valuable information, you have to decide what it is you will do with it. If nothing, then stop here. If, on the other hand, you believe that knowledge is power, the power to change say your diet based on a diagnosis of diabetes, then, let’s get to work. That diet will need to be customized and long term. What are you able to commit to? What resources do you have? What resources do you need? What are your limitations? Board approval, budget restrictions, political pressure? Those limitations need to be identified before they can be addressed.            

How: Communicate.

            Share the results of your assessment with your employees. Follow that basic communication rule and share what you heard to make sure that you got it right. Many employers have told me that they are not comfortable sharing the results of a DEIAB assessment with employees because that information might be shared with the public and result in a negative perception about the organization. If a person has cancer but does not have a diagnostic assessment conducted to determine if they have cancer, does the cancer cease to exist? No. Also, if your organization has problems with DEIAB a fair percentage of your employees already know that. They just may be uncomfortable to tell you to your face. So, share your DEIAB assessment results and discuss what those results indicate. What caused the negative outcomes in the first place.

How: Educate.

            Use the knowledge that you gained during your assessment to determine what competency and skill gaps exist—especially with your leadership and managerial staff. My observation is that the majority of leaders and managers in organizations have not developed critical—fundamental leadership skills. These gaps exacerbate DEIAB challenges because a lack of cultural awareness on top of poor communication and delegation skills create environments that, at least diminish engagement, productivity, and staff longevity, and at worst, result in hostile work environments and potential EEO violations. A 3-hour online seminar on effective management is a waste of money and time. Invest in education. Every manager and leader should participate in ongoing, long term development as well as coaching, and team feedback such as 360 assessments and reciprocal performance evaluations.

We customize our leadership and manager educational programs to meet organizations and individuals where they are. We conduct preparatory surveys to find out what education and training individuals have had and what their response to those experiences is. We also use those surveys to find out what their particular challenges and concerns are surrounding DEIAB. This enables us to fine tune our educational programs so that they are effective and relevant. Separating leaders, managers, and non-managerial staff is an important part of creating a safe space where participants can speak freely, share concerns, and learn from their peers. By using an anonymizing tool during sessions we help participants to safely address these issues and engage in meaningful discussions without fear of judgment or repercussions.

How: Prioritize.

    Using the feedback gathered during our sessions, we are able to help clients develop sustainable, tangible DEIAB strategies in a collaborative manner. These strategies must be part of the organizational strategic plan, core mission, vision, values, and goals—not an add on. It is easy to criticize initiatives that get second thoughts and leftovers in terms of resources, whether financial or human. So, if DEIAB is a priority, treat it as such.

            If an organization is committed to DEIAB, then, you need to put your money where your mouth is. People, your employees, clients, customers, constituents, and community members know the difference between talk and action. The level of disillusionment[2] that is, in part a response to a lack of trust in what leaders communicate versus what they do, is contributing to high employee turnover rates[3] during the past several years as well as quiet quitting[4] and general disengagement.

            The most effective DEIAB strategies are also reasonable financial investments for organizations. Our most successful clients have ongoing structured mentoring programs which contribute to more inclusive working relationships, more effective managers and leaders and increased employee engagement and retention.

            Investing in education, employee mentoring, ongoing assessments, and strategic planning are not new approaches to DEIAB, I have been preaching and practicing these for many years. It is the integration of these actions that create a resilient and pivotal foundation that can withstand the onslaught of voguish attacks on DEIAB when they pop up.

            If your organization is struggling to balance the benefits of DEAIB and your core values against the politicized myths being used in an attempt to polarize people and diminish those values, please give me a call. I would love to discuss how we can support you during these very challenging times.

Onward!

~ Wendy
May 09, 2024

Wendy Amengual Wark
(She/Her)
Founding Partner
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC
01-347-880-0777
InclusionStrategy.com
Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com

[1] Standing firm against the escalating assault on equity, diversity, and inclusion   https://www.apa.org/topics/equity-diversity-inclusion/standing-against-assault-equity-diversity-inclusion

[2] UN General Assembly “As ‘Intense Frustration and Disillusionment’ Brew amid Raging Global Conflict, Economic Uncertainty, Revitalizing General Assembly is Increasingly Critical, President Says”  https://press.un.org/en/2023/ga12560.doc.htm

The ‘Caudillo Syndrome’ is spreading around the world as economic disillusionment pushes voters to bet on populist strongmen https://fortune.com/2024/02/28/caudillo-syndrome-spreading-world-economic-disillusionment-voters-bet-on-populist-strongmen-politics/

Despair makes young US men more conservative ahead of US election, poll shows
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/despair-makes-young-us-men-more-conservative-ahead-us-election-poll-shows-2024-04-12/

[3] U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics: JOB OPENINGS AND LABOR TURNOVER – MARCH 2024  https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/jolts.pdf

[4] Forget ‘Quiet Quitting’. In 2024 Employees Want Employers To ‘Quietly Manage’
https://www.forbes.com/sites/bryanrobinson/2023/12/14/forget-quiet-quitting-in-2024-employees-want-employers-to-quietly-manage/?sh=7563c7876523

 

We Are Not Alone

Diversity & Inclusion / EEO, Equity, , , , , , , , , , ,

     Each year I endeavor to start anew with a fresh, positive outlook. I wish that for you, as well. Each of us has to navigate our private, personal struggles as well as the macro challenges that we are confronted with as a community. War, death by guns, food insecurity, climate change, racism, sexism, antisemitism, homophobia, Islamophobia, and on and on. Typing this list is depressing in itself but much more so when I reflect on where we are globally as compared with say, January of 2009. So, I have tried to follow the adage and stay silent as I do not have much to say that is very ‘nice.’ Having to fight back against a relentless assault on democracy, equity, justice, inclusion, diversity, and access is not nice. It is not easy. It is not cheerful. It is exhausting and depressing to have to fight against those who are intent upon dragging us all back to the good ‘ole days when only a small percentage of people had any rights at all.

     I am not trying to ruin 2024 for you, I am actually trying to encourage you. I do not have to cite any recent events (unless you have been fortunate enough to have been completely unplugged for the past three or four weeks) for most of you to think “Here we go,” and then, perhaps let out a sigh of resignation.

     The arguments against diversity, equity, inclusion, and access are old tired screeds that had no basis in reality when they were hurled by ultra conservatives in the 1990s and have no basis in reality now. Based on substantial research data and results, we know that we do better work when we work with diverse groups of people. We know that people with diverse experiences, perspectives, and communications styles think differently, resulting in problems being solved more rapidly and especially, more effectively by diverse groups. We know that the more education people have, the less likely they are to experience unwanted pregnancy, poverty, and violence. We know that creating equal access (true equal access) brings engagement, success, and joy—actual joy to people in their work and in their studies!

     So, why are those who yell the loudest being given so much bandwidth? Why are their distortions of the truth being repeated by well-meaning intelligent people on social media and across the dominant media outlets? Why are public and private institutions making bad decisions about how to effectively manage free speech and remain committed to being diverse, inclusive, and accessible?

     Because bullies win by yelling and making a lot of noise—bluster. Bluster is distracting and upsetting and very effective at keeping us from doing the critical work that we must continue to do.

     My resolution for 2024: remain focused. Focus is a critical function when there are those intent on distraction us. Disturbing us. Ultimately, disappearing us. Every fascist regime throughout history has silenced those fighting to save democracy—journalists , academics, advocates, and activists—by disappearing them.

     We will not be disappeared. I will not be disappeared. I know that silence equals death. In that knowledge comes the understanding that I must speak up. I am not talking about having an urgent need to express my thoughts and opinions. I must speak up as a witness, advocate, ally, and activist. I have been in this space of speaking up for those who have been silenced since I was a child and so, If I cannot speak up, who can?

     We are a diverse nation. We are a diverse planet of people. We need each other to thrive or none of us thrive. Those who seek to rob our inclusion, equity, access, and value know this and so they will do their best to divide us—create wedges between us based on our differences—and conquer us. This is also a very old tactic. It is a very effective tactic and that is why it is dusted off and used again and again by those seeking to rob us of our rights to vote, to speak, to pursue happiness. They twist words and meanings to confuse and diminish their effectiveness. They state things that they know are patently untrue and wait for the bickering and debating to keep everyone distracted and then chip away at laws—rights and protections—that took centuries to attain.

     Yesterday I was speaking with my dear friends Derrick Kikuchi and his husband Craig Wiesner (owners of  Reach and Teach and activists for social equity and justice as well as providers of a sanctuary that gives us “hope that does not disappoint”), and they reminded me that I am not alone.

     As a practitioner of EEO/DEIBA one can feel isolated, targeted, and alone. We need to remind ourselves and each other that we are not alone. I am here for you. You are here for me. We are here together fighting the good fight, doing the important work.

     Maintaining focus is absolutely critical. It is hard to keep our focus when we are distracted, or disturbed, silenced or disappeared by bullies yelling lies and threats. I will stay calm and speak the truth. I encourage you to do the same.

     This is not about politics. This is about protecting ourselves, our planet, and the future.

     If you need an affirmation or reminder as to why you must continue to do this work that is exhilaratingly exhausting, please reach out. I am here for you—with you—as your ally, advocate, and friend.

     Wishing you peace, love, joy, and inclusion in 2024, and beyond!

     ~ Wendy

Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC

January 10, 2024

 

Take Affirmative Action Today!

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For decades people have pushed back against affirmative action laws. Those people rarely understood the letter or the spirit of affirmative action. I have been asked hundreds of times if affirmative action requires a quota, a set percentage of Black, indigenous, and other people of color or members of other underrepresented groups to be admitted to an academic institution. The answer is consistently ‘no’.

Organizations of all kinds continue to complain that they cannot find qualified members of underrepresented groups when they search for recruits either in academia or the workplace. This is why the laws requiring an effort were implemented in the first place.

Those organizations that implement inclusive strategies to achieve true diversity and equity do so with the understanding that inclusion takes work, action – affirmative action – just as any goal that one wants to achieve.

Resistance to diversity, equity and inclusion are not new in any sector. What is new is that a small minority group has effectively stripped our nation of successful strategies for achieving real diversity. They have flipped the dialogue on diversity and privilege – white privilege – claiming that institutional racism is not real. It is real. Institutional racism exists in organizations where people gain access and entry to elite educational institutions not based on their performance or merit, but an accident of birth. Legacy admissions to universities exist as they have for centuries. Legacy admissions are affirmative action. The result of the action is that a particular group of people’s privilege and access are consistently affirmed.

The school to work pipeline will not change because we wish it to be so. Diversity at all levels, at all institutions, will not occur as a result of positive thinking. The arduous process of making something a law does not occur without a cause. The effect of passing a law is the result of centuries of legal racial and other forms of discrimination.

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 and its amendments were passed because there were and are those who do not believe the everyone should be entitled to the same access and opportunity. This has never been about anyone’s inability or refusal to work hard. This has never been about anyone’s inability to meet the intellectual standards of our greatest academic institutions. This has always been about intentional exclusion. Always.

Today is the perfect day to rededicate your organization’s commitment to diversity, equity, inclusion, and access. Take affirmative action to assure that those who are qualified, motivated, and underrepresented get access and are included. 

Onward!

Wendy Amengual Wark
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC
Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com

June 29, 2023

 

Fighting Words

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Fighting Words

I am a pacifist. I do not own a gun or any other weapons. I use words to combat to combat ignorance, hatred, and brutality and it is definitely time to fight.

 The increasingly dangerous assault on diversity, equity, inclusion, and access (DEIA) requires a coordinated and sustainable defense.

As a small business owner, I usually avoid entering into political discussions, but the body politic is at the greatest risk of my entire life. This has been many decades in the making and wishing it away, compromising, and conciliating clearly has not worked. We are in danger, and we must take action. All of us. Now. Failing means that we fall prey to those who, among other assaults on justice and equality, are trying to legalize child labor while simultaneously making certain human beings illegal. They are dangerous and relentless and amoral.

Those who have been conspiring to push civilization back to a time when less than one percent of the global population had 99 percent of the food, shelter, and representation depend on our division, frustration and exhaustion. They rely on our emotional responses to their irrational and illegal conduct. They expect us to eventually give up our rights and access and freedom.

I have interviewed many hundreds of people during investigations of discrimination claims. It is very easy to tell when most people are lying. It is equally difficult to tell when practiced liars lie. That is because they literally practice. They repeat their lies many times before sharing them with the public. Those lies are quoted in the media and further broadcast and amplified. The most practiced liars find others who will deny the truth with them begin quoting their lies, further amplifying them. Again, and again and again. This methodology is incredibly effective as those who do not know the truth can be effectively bamboozled.

Those who are adept at implementing this methodology are rewarded. Some have become phenomenally powerful members of government and industry as a result of lying. There seem to be no repercussions for doing so. On the contrary, I could name at least one dozen infamous people who are currently benefitting financially by willfully and intentionally misrepresenting the facts. As you read this, I am sure that you are picturing some of them.

The current assault on DEIA initiatives and programs that is being successfully launched by racists is intentional and unacceptable. Governmental representatives in several states are in the process of killing DEIA initiatives in the public and academic sectors as well as forcing private sector organizations with governmental contracts to do the same. This coincides with a concerted effort to censor books, free speech, and the study of history and the social sciences.

The destruction of forums for open and inclusive discourse replicates what happened in Germany, Italy, and elsewhere when fascists took control of those nations. Book burnings were a regular occurrence. Anyone who did not fit a very precise description of ‘us’ were persecuted, and that persecution ultimately escalated into the Holocaust.

Divisions are fomented and incited. Turning Blacks and Latinos against each other. Turning Jews and Asians against each other. Turning cisgender men against transgender women. Christians against the LGBTQI community. I could go on and on. We cannot allow ourselves to be divided. We cannot allow exclusion to win. We must fight. We must continue to fight.

I do not need to justify here why and how our communities, nations, and entire world benefit by embracing diversity and inclusivity, and requiring equity and access for all. The list is long and I have spent many, many years sharing it, with passion and data and evidence.

I do not need to explain why racism is bad. Why fascism is bad. Why discrimination of all kinds is bad. It should be obvious. It is even obvious to those currently vilifying being ‘woke.’ They know that everyone benefits when we live inclusively, but they espouse bizarro-world opposites to reality again and again and again.

I am tired. Incredibly tired. Everyone who does this work is. Tired of the lies. Tired of the gaslighting. Tired of the misinformation and disinformation. Tired of white fragility and tired of white supremacy.

I am so tired. Yet, I am not as tired as my ancestors were after 16 hours of cutting down sugar cane under the relentless Caribbean sun. I am not as tired as children who were chained to sewing machines on this very island of Manhattan for 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. I am not as tired as the many millions who came before me who did not have the privilege to speak up without risking their lives and safety.

Decades ago, right-wing conservatives successfully turned the word ‘liberal’ into a derogatory word. They are attempting to do that again with the word ‘woke.’ I refuse to be sucked into their vortex of manipulation.

This is not just a debate about semantics. Silence does equal death. People are dying. People are being killed by racists who face minimal repercussions for committing murder.

Every single day, we – those of us who believe in diversity as a great thing, inclusion as a necessary thing, and equity as an absolute minimum requirement for survival – must persist and prevail and push back.

“But what can I do?” You ask.

  1. Get loud and stay loud. Call out racism, sexism, homophobia, antisemitism, ablism, and all forms of discrimination.
  2. Write your elected officials (this is especially critical at the local level: school boards, city councils, and state legislatures) and share your opinions and concerns.
  3. Pay attention! Encourage everyone who you know to read and listen and to pay careful attention to decisions being made by elected and appointed officials.
  4. Vote! And help other people, especially marginalized people, to register and then get to a place where they can vote.
  5. Amplify the voices of those who speak truth to power, voices that have been historically silenced and marginalized.
  6. Do not amplify the voices of the liars, gas lighters, haters, racists, and fascists.
  7. Do not be polite if someone dismisses fact as opinion. Facts are facts.
  8. Vote with your wallet. Make sure that every organization that you support is committed to DEIA and not just window-dressing. Find out if they are donating to politicians who are preaching hatred and do not contribute to that by purchasing their product or service.
  9. Connect with others who are fighting for equity and justice. Support each other, vent, cheer each other on. It is really important that we remind each other that we are not alone.
  10. Practice self-care and care for those around you. (Sometimes this means unplugging and taking a break from the doom and gloom of reality so that you can refuel and come back stronger and clearer and more focused on the mission.)

I need your help. I commit to continuing to work to keep a small group of extremists from destroying all that we have accomplished. We can only succeed if we do this together.

Onward!

~ Wendy 

Wendy Amengual Wark
Founding Partner
Inclusion Strategy Solutions
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC
Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com

 

What Difference Does Difference Make? Is the Candidate Qualified?

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What Difference Does Difference Make?

I have been asking this question for decades: What difference does difference make? It came to me when I was confronted by very privileged individuals who could not even imagine what life would be like for those who are not white, Christian, educated, socioeconomically secure, heterosexual, without a major disability, born in the USA, and for the most part, male. I needed to find ways to get through the resistance to inclusion, to create a bridge that would help those who were taught that difference is bad to cross the chasm from ignorance to inclusion. I needed to develop a methodology to help these people to unlearn the lies that they had been taught all of their lives: that they were not part of the problem of racism nor the cure; that all people who worked hard, followed the golden rule, and kept out of trouble would be able to be successful in American society; that affirmative action was unfair and helped those who were less capable, lazy, and did not deserve the jobs that they got; that the majority of Americans have not been victims of racism, sexism, antisemitism, homophobia, ableism, and other forms of hate; and that discrimination is not a cornerstone of privilege. I have been told hundreds of times by individuals who actively reinforced institutional racism and sexism that they were neither sexist nor racist. Usually, I was told this vehemently.

Intersectionality

With the announcement that Democratic Presidential candidate, Joe Biden selected Kamala Harris as his Vice-Presidential running mate, the internet and media worlds lit up with an incredible range of responses. Most of the statements, however, have not focused on Ms. Harris’ political position on various matters. Most of the statements have focused on her gender, race, or ethnicity, in other words, her intersectionality. As the first woman of Indian and Jamaican descent to be nominated (presumed at the time of this writing) Vice Presidential candidate by one of the two major political parties in the United States, comments regarding Ms. Harris’ intersectionality have abounded. Kamala Harris identifies as a Black woman. She is representative of millions of Americans of mixed ‘race’ and ethnicity. Many of us were deeply, positively impacted by having a President who was of mixed race when we elected President Barack Obama. Now, we have that opportunity again. The opportunity is to normalize and embrace our intersectionality rather than engage in debates over how Black or how Indian Ms. Harris is. At Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC, we discuss intersectionality in many of our workshops. I, for example, cannot dissect my intersectionality. I cannot only be a woman today, without being a person who is in her 60s, or someone who is half Puerto Rican and half Irish descent. All of my distinct demographic identities combine to make me who I am. They have always shaped and impacted how others see me, respond to me, and treat me. I am the sum of my parts. I am the sum of my experiences and perceptions. I do not need to be aware of the cause and effect of those perceptions for them to exist. I, like Kamala Harris, am among the ‘offspring of the colonial embrace’ – a phrase first coined by Paul Scott, author of The Jewel in the Crown. We have European, African, Asian, and Native American DNA to varying degrees. Kamala Harris is not Indian or Jamaican or African or European, she is American, very American. I love Aurora Levins Morales’ poem, “Child of the Americas” for this specific reason: we are new and cannot go back to those elements of which we are comprised.

Is the Candidate Qualified?

We have an opportunity to pay attention to how we describe and define each other. Kamala Harris is many things as a human being. The most important things that we need to focus on in determining if she should be the next Vice President of the United States, is her qualifications for the position. As a Senator, a former State Attorney General, and a former District Attorney, Ms. Harris clearly meets the qualifications of a dedicated public servant who knows the law and has navigated the pressures incorporated in the positions that she has held.

This is not a political endorsement, but rather an illustration of the recommendations that we make to our clients on a regular basis. When asked for assistance with increasing diversity in organizations, especially at the leadership level, we are often given the proviso that the candidates need to be qualified. My consistent response is that you should never even interview a candidate who does not meet or exceed the qualifications for the position, even if the candidate is a white male. I will further argue that, based on the adversity that Ms. Harris has had to contend with as the child of a Black man and a brown woman, both immigrants, she is more qualified than one who has had a life of privilege. Privilege, for anyone who bristled when reading the previous sentence, does not mean that your life is free of grief or adversity, but that people of color, especially women of color have to deal with all of those things on top of the double edged sword of living in a world rife with racism and sexism.

Representation

When I think about the question: What difference does difference make? The answer to me is obvious: Difference makes a tremendous difference! I did not have a single Puerto Rican teacher until I was in college and did not have any Puerto Rican professors in graduate school. This is astonishing to me still as one who was born and raised in New York City. I had a Puerto Rican baseball coach as an adolescent and he provided me with an incredibly positive role model as a man of color who, despite tremendous odds, achieved his master’s degree. Kamala Harris represents so many people who are not accustomed to seeing people like themselves in positions of power. She represents so many people whose parents came to the United States because of its reputation as a democracy where anyone, everyone has an opportunity to succeed. That representation also means that issues of importance to women, Black people, children of immigrants, people of mixed race and heritage, have a greater likelihood of their concerns and issues being addressed.

To those who are threatened by difference, I want you to think about your role models, mentors, teachers, influencers. Who in your world has held a mirror up to you so that you can see your future self? Who has created a bridge for you to cross from poverty to economic stability? Who shared stories of overcoming obstacles so that you could have hope of a better, brighter future? Those of us who are the majority of the human beings on this planet have had too few of those representatives. Kamala Harris has not been successful because she is a woman of color, but despite being a woman of color who had to and continues to overcome barriers that most white people cannot even begin to imagine. Representation matters. History matters. If we are to create a future based on equity and inclusion, difference matters.

Onward!

Wendy Amengual Wark
Partner
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC

New York City
August 16, 2020

Wendy@InclusionStrategy.com
www.InclusionStrategy.com

 

The Best Ways to Hold Companies Accountable for Increasing Representation of Black Senior Leaders

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It is always affirming to be asked to provide an opinion on diversity matters as a diversity expert. Matthew Boyle a journalist with Bloomberg Business asked me:  What have you learned about the best ways to hold companies accountable for increasing representation of Black senior leaders?

Here is my long response to Matthew. (The referenced article is linked below.)

Organization’s C-suites, Boards of Directors, and shareholders can hold each other and, most importantly, themselves accountable for increasing representation of Blacks (and Latinos and Females) in leadership by following a simple set of protocols:

  1. The skills and competencies required for the role are established (rather than requiring an MBA, for example, because the person who had the job for thirty years had an MBA).
  2. A job description is developed based on the actual Bona Fide Occupational Qualifications (BFOQs) for the position.
  3.  Long lasting relationships are developed with organizations that facilitate the recruitment of Black, Latino, and Female candidates by Board and C-Suite Members, in addition to HR staff.
  4. Through our “Unconscious Bias” and “Inclusive Recruitment through Hiring” Workshops, my partner, Paula Edgar and I help hiring committee members to become aware of  and manage their implicit or unconscious biases regarding candidates (biases regarding candidates names, addresses, colleges, etc.) when screening resumes and conducting interviews.
  5. Organizations that are serious about diversifying their leadership designate a minimum acceptable percentage for candidates who are Black, Latino, or Female for leadership positions. An agreed upon percentage of those being interviewed for leadership positions are reserved for Black, Latino, or Female candidates. This is not a hiring quota. It is not a lowering of the bar or standards of an organization. Everyone who is interviewed must meet or exceed the requirements for the position. It is  acting on a commitment to increase diversity at the senior level of an organization.
  6. Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC  has established interviewing methodologies to minimize the impact of those biases including: developing uniform interview questions; managing the way that those questions are asked; and establishing consistent protocols for how candidates are ranked and selected by the hiring committee.

These are tangible, measurable best practices that can be implemented by any organization regardless of size or sector. 

“Walmart’s Black Executives Lost Ground Since Five Years Ago” by Matthew Boyle Bloomberg Business, June 18, 2020

If your organization is not being strategic about increasing diversity at all levels, isn’t today the perfect day to begin?

Onward!

Wendy Amengual Wark
Partner
Inclusion Strategy Solutions LLC

June 18, 2020